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It makes me so sad because of how bad I wanna be with you. I’m lonely and I want someone so bad in my life to call mine, and you’re the only one I want. I don’t want the pointless hookups with random people I wanna be with someone who I know I love… I want the pointless fights, the hateful words, the make up sex, the cuddling, the kissing, the smiles, the laughter, everything that comes with a relationship… I want it all but I want it all to be with you. I don’t wanna love someone else cause I could never love someone the way I loved you. I’ll never have the same feelings for someone like I had for you. Don’t you wanna feel that again? Don’t you want someone by your side?… I know I do. I would do it all again as long as I’m with you. You’re my happiness. I’m the happiest when I’m with you. I miss it all

My last thoughts

I just realized that I don’t need to talk to you because it’s the same thing every time and I don’t wanna waste my time. You tell me that you still have feelings for me, that you care about me and possibly that you still love me but what’s that all mean when you don’t put any actions to it. We are just going around in circles and nothing is really happening here.. I know I screwed up in the past and I hurt you but you have to move on from it or you’ll never be happy again, and I’m not saying it’s easy by all means but it’s something that needs to be done. You can’t let this effect you and what you want in life. I don’t believe you really cheated on me but sometimes I question it but it’s been so long and life’s too short to hold on to any of that, I just move past it and forget about it. Be happy. If you wanted to actually be with me you would but instead you just hook up with me, tell me what I want to hear and keep me holding on to me as if you don’t want me but you don’t want anyone else to have me. I want to be happy and I can find happiness with you if you would have let me show you that I’ve changed things and if you had given me that real second chance I begged for, but instead I still hold on hoping that things will come together. I just want so badly to go back to how things were… How heartbroken we were when we broke up for the first time… I can never love someone the way I loved and cared about you. I just know that if you want to be with me you will make things happen but for now I can’t keep doing this to myself. If we are meant to be together then it will happen… Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for a couple years, but until that time I have to look out for my best interest. I love you and I always will but I can’t just sit here and wait around.

"No relationship is perfect so just find the right one to go through hell and heaven with."
-Mark Patterson (via saybeifong)

Sucks that everything was good again but this is just the way you make it out to be. I wanna go back to how things were like when we were out at the casino or summer jamz but I guess nothing can ever be good with you.

Welp good thing I moved to Spokane then cause there’s a shit ton of light skins here. Won’t be hard finding someone to distract me